It started badly, but got better.
As detailed in prior emails a new front tyre and pads were required before I could even consider undertaking a rigorous Quacks Tour. Having spent money like tomorrow would never come I spent a happy hour or two wiring in my bullet camera. Sadly (though this information is temporally displaced) this was a waste of time and it seems more work needs to be done….
Friday dawned and the weather was.. good! Remarkable, did I get the wrong weekend? Determined to continue despite these misgivings I set off up the B184 with CtC. To those in the know this is an excellent road, wonderful for warming up the tyres. It leads north to Dunmow where we met Nigel (beemer man) and Matthew (scary man). Amazing, it’s going like clockwork, we have all met within 5 mins of the target time, this can’t be right. Once we had recovered from the shock we enjoyed a blast further up the B184 to Saffron Waldon and shortly after the A1 (much less fun). Remarkably despite the worst efforts of the traffic we were on time to meet JB and friends, and even more amazingly Andy (bro) and Mike H arrived on time. We then had an excellent run up to Scarborough to meet the rest of the reprobates at the hotel. Nothing of importance happened on the way unless you count the trivial matter of my foolishness …… yes I DID put diesel in my tank. CtC came up trumps with a siphoning system, but why didn’t he offer to suck the diesel? May I tell you that stuff tastes FOUL.
Who is this? Why it’s Lee Winslow! Half the man he used to be and looking lean and mean. Welcome back Lee, good to see you mate. A pleasant evening followed with wine, women and song. Speaking of song there seems to be a new verse in the broken Blackbird Cam-chain tensioner blues…. Thanks BB. Not sure I can remember much more, can’t think why…..
Amazingly everybody got up on time Saturday morning, but we have a problem… Hazel has no babysitter so PtF has to fill in as leader. Well in reality I was a pace setter and I used my GPS to get round the route. GPS = Gary Positioning System – virtually fool proof and easier to mount on a motorbike than a Garmin. The run to coffee was almost faultless, almost, but my GPS saved the day. We enjoyed wonderful roads and arrived in Kirkbymoorside to scoff equally wonderful home made biscuits.
The trip to lunch took in some excellent roads and interesting places (Sledmere House anyone?) My GPS helped again in Lissett, I was somewhat distracted by a really scary driver and was utterly focussed on staying alive, fortunately my GPS had some spare capacity and pointed me in the correct direction. Lunch was very pleasant; soup and sandwiches in the sun, does it get any better? NB did everyone pay? Hmm? See Jane if in doubt! Bulldog arrived somewhat tardily and set about thrashing his stalled bike with his gloves, poor thing. He made the acquaintance of an excellent fellow in a specialist motorbike shop who fixed his ailing rectifier for a miserable £40. Nice one Bulldog.
After lunch my internal map became deranged, but again the GPS worked well until we reached Oliver’s Mount. Strangely at this point a software communication error occurred and we had to orbit the mount before climbing it. Tea was delightful with excellent views to Scarborough and the harbour. Could have done without the flies though…. Oh and for some strange reason a lot of alarms packed up, maybe it had something to do with the megawatts of microwave radiation they were bathed in?
We decided that the overheating Ducati (delectable Jeanne’s) would never survive a slow trip round Scarborough so we redesigned the last section to bypass the town itself. The run back through the woods to the hotel was a delight. We are back by 4pm ish – amazing! More amazing is that as group one we are first back and not lost in the wilds of Yorkshire – thanks Gary.
The rest of the afternoon and evening involved much debauchery. Excellent! Hang on, I am further immortalised in song – this could get embarrassing. A 1 a 2 a 3 “they’ve got him on milk and diesel fuel”. Hmmmm. Bro Andy and CtC get involved in a clearly setup fight and I am asked to referee, curious I follow them out to the car park. I studiously ignore the mess on my bike… AARGH! Seems people take offence to my clean bike – well tough so nerr.
Sunday and the sun is shining, this makes the sad prospect of going home more bearable. After the long round of farewells 10 of us set off to work south aiming initially for the Humber Bridge. The plan was to stop shortly for fuel. Imagine my surprise when we went past the petrol station then shortly went past the turning for Driffield. Surely we should be going that way? Bulldog waved amiably at us from the turning as we rode on. What had happened was that JB and Andy stopped for fuel and the next rider (Nigel?) didn’t spot this so carried on…. Everyone followed. After a while Grahame (tail-ender) came shooting past.. aha! I thought. He stopped us at traffic lights and JB came up to utilise his GPS to get us back on track. Now where is Andy? JB thinks Andy has waved him on, but no, it transpires later that Andy was just waving his arms in despair….
Some fine riding later brought us to Louth where we had lunch with some old friends – Ronnie and Louise – quite simply the two most generous, nicest people you could hope to meet. We were fed and watered most excellently after Ronnie had talked Andy in. We sunned ourselves in the garden and played in the hammock, stared curiously at chickens and generally chilled. Eventually we stirred ourselves and blasted down to Boston where we were entertained again at JBs! The chocolate cake was delicious. JBs place has a very zen-like calm which is very relaxing.
Now reduced to the Essex lads we decided to take the fast route back via the A16 and the A1, boring but effective. Amazingly when I arrive home I have lost only 2 of my Scarborough Specsaver Greenflies. It will take me hours to remove the adhesive….